Breastfeeding the second time around

When you try and try and it still does not work, its time to have a good cry and follow the path the universe has set you. Why I could breastfeed one daughter and not the other feels so wrong but my grief that I am unable to breastfeed this time will ease and I know the most important thing is my baby girl has a full belly and love around her. 

I never considered how much my internal concept of being a mother revolved around being able to physically feed my daughters and provide for them. To be able to nourish that precious little person the way nature designed me. Even tho I have milk to offer her we cannot seem to find a way to fill her tummy without causing more and more physical pain and damage. The more damage, the less milk makes it into her tummy, the less she feeds the more upset we all become. 

I intended to write a long blog post about everything we tried, what helped, what made everything worse, how long it took to get my little one to gain weight, how long it took to heal ... In hopes that one day someone might find comfort, stumbling across this blog, to know they are not alone and that there are things that help. But honestly, its still too fresh.